Exits
A celebratory wedding exit or send-off is when the guests do something special when the couple is going somewhere. Usually a send-off happens either at the end of the wedding ceremony or at the end of the reception. This guide will talk about different types of exits, how to plan exits, and give you some ideas for doing a fun exit.
When to do an exit
An exit usually takes place at one or two moments at a wedding: after the ceremony when the couple is walking back down the aisle together, or at the end of the reception before the couple leaves for the night. For example, after the ceremony, guests blow bubbles, throw rice, wave ribbons, throw confetti, or other fun things as the couple makes their way back down the aisle. After the reception, many couples choose to do a sparkler exit.
Ceremony Exits
I love when couples have a planned exit from the ceremony, and I recommend having guests do something as the couple walks back down the aisle together. Guests can clap, wave ribbons, toss confetti, blow bubbles etc.
Regardless of whether you choose to do an exit from the ceremony, it can be helpful for guests to be given some kind of instruction for the end of the ceremony. The officiant can simply instruct everyone to cheer/clap/celebrate as you walk back down the aisle. You will also likely need to give your guests some kind of instructions about where to go and what to do once the ceremony is over. Anyone who needs to be in photos will need to stay around the ceremony area while everyone else should be given instructions about where to go for cocktail hour. I recommend either having the officiant make the announcement at the beginning of the ceremony, or have instructions printed somewhere if it's not an obvious transition for what the guests should do.
Why do an exit?
Exits make for great photos and are really fun for everyone involved. The guests love being involved, and I've had couples tell me that the exits were really fun. An exit can make a special moment feel even more exciting.
Reception Exits
These exits typically take place at the end of the reception before the couple leaves for the night. The most common type of exit is a sparkler exit, which is a great photo opportunity and really fun for both the guests and the couple. While these exits are typically done at the very end of the reception, they don't have to be. Exits at the end of a reception can be more logistically complicated, so I'll talk more about these in the next section below.
Ceremony Exits
It's relatively easy to plan an exit for after the ceremony. Here's what I recommend. Whatever it is you want your guests to do (throw confetti, wave ribbons, etc.) leave the items on the chairs or have someone hand the items out as people arrive. Then, you can either have instructions with the item, or have the officiant give the instructions at the beginning or the end of the ceremony.
At the end of the ceremony, as you're walking back down the aisle together, I will likely tell you to stop about halfway down and either cheer or kiss.
Remember, regardless of whether you do a planned exit from the ceremony, make sure your guests know what to do next!
Reception Exit Options
Coordinating the end of reception exits take a little more planning. There are a few different ways you can coordinate these exits. Each has pros and cons:
Grand exit at the very end of the reception
Traditionally, grand exits are done at the very end of the reception as a send-off as the couple leave the wedding (in a getaway car or something similar). This type of exit works well if the couple is indeed going to be leaving the reception before everyone else. If you're planning to leave in a getaway car, this is the way to do it! This is also a good option if you want to do a sparkler exit, because it will likely be dark at the end of the reception. There are a few cons of this exit type though. Some guests may not stay until the very end of the reception, so it is likely that not everyone will be here for the send-off. This exit also requires the photographer (me) and videographer to stay until the very end of the reception, which can be several hours and can add on extra hours and cost.
Faux exit in the middle of the reception
You can also pause the reception in the middle to have everyone stage an exit for fun and photos. This method works well if you want more people to be there for the exit. However, once the faux exit is over, it can be difficult to get everyone back on the dance floor and get the party started again. Some people will leave after the exit because it is a natural break in the schedule of events. It can also be difficult to stop the party and transition everyone to the exit setup. If you decide to do this method, I recommend doing it right after dinner while everyone is still there, or perhaps right before cake so people have a reason to come back to the reception. I also recommend coordinating and communicating with your DJ so they can plan a good song or way to get everyone back on the dance floor.
Do an entrance to the reception instead
Instead of having a grand exit, try a grand entrance to the reception! You can set it up exactly as you would an exit, with the guests making a tunnel for the couple to walk through. If you also want to do introductions of the wedding party, you can have everyone walk through the tunnel and be announced. Then when the couple walks through, everyone lights sparklers, throws confetti, etc. Then everyone can stay standing and you can go right into your first dance. Pros of this method: everyone will be here, and you don't have to worry about doing the exit later. However, depending on the time of day, it may not be dark enough for a sparkler exit. This method will also throw off the traditional entrances to a reception. I'll admit, I've never had anyone do this method before, but I think it could work!
Small Faux Exit Anytime
Another option is doing a small faux exit with just the bridal party or just the bridal party and family. You can do this right before entering the reception, or in the middle of the reception. The photos will still look great, and it's a lot less people to coordinate for the exit. If you do the faux exit in the middle of the reception, the DJ can make an announcement for the bridal party and immediate family to report to a specific place while everyone else keeps partying.
Reception Exit Coordination
I believe that exit coordination should not be the sole responsibility of the couple. Depending on which method you choose, different vendors and people will need to be involved to make it happen. Typically, a reception exit will take about 15-20 minutes to set up and then 5-10 minutes to actually happen. Whatever you choose to do, make sure you communicate that to the DJ, wedding planner (if applicable) and the photographer (me). We will work together to make your vision come to life in a way that is as easy as possible for you.
As the photographer, I usually play a significant role in getting the exits set up. If the exit happens during or after the reception, usually the DJ will make an announcement for people to gather at a certain spot for the exit. Then I take it from there. I get everyone set up and ready to go. Then I tell the couple when to go and what to do.
The entire process should be easy and fun for you. No worries. :)
How I photograph exits
I have a specific way that I like to photograph exits, whether after the ceremony or sometime during the reception time. I will have all the guests make 2 lines with a space in the middle, like a tunnel. I'll tell the bride and groom to wait at one end until I tell them to go. I'll go over how the exit will work with the bride and groom. Then I'll make sure all of the guests are ready to go and know what to do. Then I'll count down from 3...2...1....Go! At that point, the bride and groom will hold hands and run/walk down the tunnel. About halfway through, I'll tell the bride and groom to stop and dip kiss. If it's a sparkler exit, I'll tell the bride and groom to run back to the beginning and do it over again (encore!). After the second dip kiss, I'll have them continue to the end of the tunnel.
I love sparkler exits. I really do. Here are a few tips specific to sparkler exits:
Buy extra long sparklers!!
I cannot stress this enough. Regular length sparklers burn out way too fast for a sparkler exit. With regular sparklers, by the time everyone gets their sparklers lit and ready, half of the sparklers have already burned out. Extra long sparklers will last much longer, giving enough time for everyone to get their sparklers lit AND for the couple to actually do the exit. The only exception to extra long sparklers would be if the sparkler exit space is really narrow. You should be able to ask your venue about the space so you can plan accordingly.
Bring multiple lighters
This may seem obvious, but bring lots of lighters. You cannot have too many lighters. Not only are they backups in case one doesn't work, but the more lighters you have, the faster everyone will be able to get their sparklers lit.
Be ready to do it twice
For sparkler exits, I will have the couple go halfway, kiss, then go back to the beginning and do it all over again. This is fun and extends the length of the exit, but it also gives me (and you) two chances to get THE SHOT.
How I photograph exits
I have a specific way that I like to photograph exits, whether after the ceremony or sometime during the reception time. I will have all the guests make 2 lines with a space in the middle, like a tunnel. I'll tell the bride and groom to wait at one end until I tell them to go. I'll go over how the exit will work with the bride and groom. Then I'll make sure all of the guests are ready to go and know what to do. Then I'll count down from 3...2...1....Go! At that point, the bride and groom will hold hands and run/walk down the tunnel. About halfway through, I'll tell the bride and groom to stop and dip kiss. If it's a sparkler exit, I'll tell the bride and groom to run back to the beginning and do it over again (encore!). After the second dip kiss, I'll have them continue to the end of the tunnel.
How I Photograph Sparkler Exits
I have a specific way that I like to photograph exits, whether after the ceremony or sometime during the reception. I will have all the guests make 2 lines with a space in the middle, like a tunnel. I'll tell the couple to wait at one end until I tell them to go. I'll go over how the exit will work with the couple. Then I'll make sure all of the guests are ready to go and know what to do. Then I'll count down from 3...2...1....Go! At that point, the couple will hold hands and run/walk down the tunnel. About halfway through, I'll tell the couple to stop and dip kiss. If it's a sparkler exit, I'll tell the couple to run back to the beginning and do it over again (encore!). After the second dip kiss, I'll have them continue to the end of the tunnel.
Note: Sparkler exits may not be permitted in Colorado due to wildfire conditions. Check with your venue about whether or not sparklers are permitted, and if they have any alternative option.
What is a Private Last Dance?
Private last dances are a fun trend that I've seen over the past few years. A private last dance is when the couple has one final dance, just the two of them, at the end of the night after everyone else leaves. It's a really special way to end your wedding day.
How to coordinate a private last dance
If you'd like to do a final dance, start by letting me and your DJ know. I'll need to stay until the very end of the reception, and the DJ will need to know that you want to do this. Usually the hardest part is getting your guests to leave the reception, or at least leave the venue. I've found that the best way to coordinate the last dance is have the DJ announce that everyone needs to leave the room so you can have one last private dance with just the two of you.
Exit ideas
Exits ideas I've seen problems with
Lanterns: These are good in theory, but I've seen lots of problems with lanterns. Many venues won't allow lanterns because they can be a fire risk. Lanterns can also be a lot harder to inflate than it may seem. The lantern send-offs I've seen have ended up with lanterns not igniting, not inflating, or not rising.
Bubbles: Bubbles are also good in theory. With bubbles, you have to get a lot of them at one time for them to show up in photos or have any kind of impact. I've found that it's hard for people to blow bubbles that well and that fast. Plus, when people are blowing bubbles, they can't cheer, and usually they end up paying so much attention to blowing bubbles that they aren't very engaged in the exit itself. Either that or they give up on blowing bubbles entirely. If you want to do bubbles, I recommend bubble guns instead of traditional bubble blowing.
Here are a few ideas for exits and alternatives to sparkler exits. Make sure to chec with your venue about what is and is not permitted. Some venue have limits on non-native plants, fire, etc.
- Sparklers
- Confetti
- Throw dried flowers
- Throw dried lavender
- Wave glow sticks
- Throw rose petals
- Wave/pop streamers
- Throw rice
- Wave flags/ribbons
Final Notes
Whatever type of exit you choose (if any), please please make sure that what you do does not harm the environment. Use biodegradable confetti or eco-friendly things to throw.
Also, make sure that whatever you choose is permitted at your venue.
Copyright Abby Shepard Photography
